Thursday, July 24, 2008

The UnCool

I can't imagine Romney/Edwards ever doing anything geeky. We're so cool, we should wear our sunglasses 24 hours a day, right? "Because when you're cool, the sun shines all the time..."

We love bad movies - cool, cooler than you.
Our political opinions are robust, well informed, rooted in historical experience, and right - again, cool.
I read graphic novels - freaking cool.
Edwards reads books on nutrition and fitness - so, he's pretty cool.
We both read the paper every day - smart and cool.
We own property in all the best neighborhoods for gentrification - one day we'll be rich and cool.
We have no offspring - our freedom and generosity is cool.
We have two perfectly behaved mutts. - the coolness runneth over.
We ride a tandem bicycle...

uh, oh, here is where a friend planted a viscious little seed... Perhaps all this doesn't add up to cool. Perhaps we are so cool, we've gone past cool, and now, we are... uncool.

Please consider the rest of the list:

1. We compost.
2. We recycle.
3. He rides a fixed gear, I ride a cruiser. For transportation.
4. I said, "Hell, yeah" outloud when I saw the movie preview for, "The Watchmen."
5. We got on the waiting list and bought a white Toyota Prius, because, you know, it gets the best gas mileage.
6. We regularly recommend, "The King of Kong: Fistful of Quarters." to people as a totally awesome movie.
7. Our dogs are the best dogs ever and we talk about them incessantly.
8. We replace all burnt out lights bulbs with compact flourescents.
9. We eloped to Switzerland because of a b-movie that very few other people find entertaining.
10. We like each other so much, we ride the same bicycle.

We are uncool.

Whatever. It don't matter to Jesus.

Pictures of our uncoolness: two geeky kids by their tandem, two perfect pooches, compost bin, that's a plug-in lawn mower, and the crowning glory... the prius.